Tag Archives: starts and beginnings

An Aerial State of Mind

Ever feel like you’re in a maze, blindfolded, slamming into walls, trying to figure your way through it?  Or out of it?  You’re stuck in the maze of too much happening, too many emails, and too many competing demands. You’re at everyone’s beck and call (except your own); that quick to-do list you wrote in a panic is hijacked by 9:30 am;  and when the day ends you feel you have nothing to show for it. 

Yesterday, I spoke with my client Jennifer. I had been working with her to set up some simple organizing routines when all of a sudden she went MIA.  She didn’t respond to my emails or phone calls – for eight months. Given what I know of her and our working relationship, I was pretty sure it wasn’t anything I said. I suspected that she got lost in the maze. 

Jennifer has a new, very big job. She travels a lot.  She is married, and has three kids under the age of 5.  She’s teetering on a steep learning curve, while juggling a-million-and-one unexpected things that get in the way of “the real work.” Oh, and did I mention? She has very high standards for herself.

I sent out a friendly check-in email  and, this time, she replied within 5 minutes. She had had enough.  When we spoke yesterday she confirmed:  She’s deep in the maze.   Her work routines have gone bye-bye.  She said, “Every night when I go home, my husband asks me, ‘How was your day?’ And I just answer, ‘I didn’t get anything done.’”    That’s the problem with being blindfolded in the maze: You can’t even see what you are doing.  Or how it fits into the scheme of things. Defeat replaces motivation. Or as she put it simply: “I’m overwhelmed.”

And for those of you who might be inclined to be hard on yourself,  let me say this:  Entropy happens.   No need to waste precious time feeling bad about it.  The secret is having the skill to quickly pull it back together. 

So, what do you do when you are stuck in the maze? You need the aerial perspective.  Fast.

I have to warn you. When you are stuck in the maze, the last thing you want to do is “get the aerial perspective.”  Why?  Because it requires you to stop what you are doing, pause, and take account of your situation.  Most likely, you will hear a thousand inner voices telling you that you don’t have the luxury to stop, there is so much to do, time is of the essence, etc., etc.   The anxiety that seems to go with everything in the maze is temporarily soothed by just getting busy.   The only problem is:  getting busy without the aerial perspective is only going to lead you deeper into the maze.  Trust me.

So here are the steps to the aerial perspective:

Preparation Step: Stop what you are doing.  

Step 1: Download your mind.   If, like me, you’re a fan of David Allen’s system Getting Things Done (GTD), he calls this a Mind Sweep.   Get everything that is in your mind out of it and onto the paper. Do it stream-of-consciousness style – meaning, don’t organize what’s in your mind.   Simply write down everything you need to do – in whatever form it comes to mind.  You can have big, huge things like “end world hunger,” next to tiny things like “email John for budget figures.”  Just get it out of your mind.

It’s important to set a time limit for this step. Something like 20 minutes. Jennifer asked, “What if I don’t have it done by then?” I told her that when 20 minutes is done, reassess and then decide if you need and/or want to devote more time to this step. If so, determine how much time and when the time is up, reassess, and so on.   This is what you might call a mind game.  The time limit is important because it helps the mind cooperate. Many of us, when we’re deep into the maze, resist taking time out to write down all the stuff.  We feel we’ll be there for days writing it all down and, by then, the house will have burned down (catastrophic thinking is another sign you are in the maze).  A time limit is a concession to the mind’s concerns. The mind appreciates a time limit (“okay, 20 minutes, I can do that”), and you’ll be surprised how relatively little time is needed to write it all down. 

A time limit is most crucial for this first step. After this step, you will probably start to feel better and be motivated to continue.

Step 2: Identify Projects.   Now, review your Mind Download list and identify all of the projects that are contained in it.  Word the projects as nouns. I do this to distinguish them from actions (which I language with verbs).    These projects are essentially outcomes/deliverables.  In the GTD system, a project is defined as anything with two or more steps. 

Let’s say you have something on your Mind Download list like “email John for the budget numbers.” This is related to the department budget you are creating. So on this project list, you write, “FY12 Budget.” Other items on your Mind Download list might already be projects, such as “Summer Vacation.”

Step 3: Refine Project List.   In Jennifer’s case, she realized  she was doing things that someone else could and should be doing. In this step, note any projects that belong to someone else and highlight the projects that are truly yours.  Also note those that are of highest priority, as well as any projects that could be done at a later date.  In this step, your Project List will be segmented into the following:

  • Projects that Belong to Others
  • Priority Projects
  • Other Projects
  • Later Projects

Step 4: Identify Next Actions.   For each of the projects that you are currently working on (priority and other), come up with the next steps that need to be done in the next 1 to 2 weeks.  Include a verb in these action steps, such as “email,” “talk to,” “revise,” “draft,” etc.   Many of the actions for your projects may already be on the Mind Download list from Step 1. 

Welcome to the aerial perspective.  You’ve lifted yourself out of the maze. You’ve created some distance between you and all the demands. You’re not feeling your way in the dark, jumping at every little sound. You are now in a position to be more strategic, intentional, and agile. 

This does not mean that there will be no more emergencies. (I wasn’t born yesterday.) But you will be able to address them seeing the bigger picture, and decide for yourself how you want to proceed.

The blindfold is off.  You can see the terrain.  And you can choose the best way to fly.

Shortly after I sopke with Jennifer, she sent me this brief email: “I think I’ve finished my list and I feel a lot better. I worked on it about 45 minutes and my mind feels clearer and, in a way, more free to focus. Yea. On to Step 2….”


Resolution? What resolution?

It’s the end of January.  Do you know where your resolutions are? 

Yes, your resolution.  You know, the one you were so excited about on January 1 when you said, “This is the year.  This year is going to be different.  This year, I’m really going to do it.  I can really, really feel it.”   Oh, that sweet, optimistic energy of January 1.  Hope springs eternal.

And now, it’s the end of January and, if you’re living in the Northern Hemisphere, the days are dark and cold and, very likely, the fire for your resolution is dwindling.  Wherever you live, if you’re like the majority of good-intentioned resolution-makers, by the end of January that resolution seems more like a vague dream.   Resolution?  What resolution?

If that’s the case, or if you are hanging onto your resolution by a mere thread, or just want to give it a little umph, I have an idea for you.   It’s a no-brainer:  A resolution checklist.

This is the first year that on the cusp of February, my resolution is still alive and well, and I attribute that to the checklist I made.  Here’s how it works. 

Often resolutions fail because they are too general or too vague.  We want to develop a quality like patience.  Or resilience.  Or confidence.  Or we want to drop the extra weight or stop smoking.  We want to have a more balanced life.  Or better health.  The experts warn about making your resolution too big, bold, ambitious or ambiguous.  They say that for success your resolution should be simple, specific, doable. 

But here’s the deal:  Maybe I do want to be more resilient, or confident, or balanced, or healthy, or lose weight.  It may sound general, but that is what I want.  Does this mean it shouldn’t be my resolution?

Not necessarily.  It just means I can’t stop there.  I need to put some legs on it.  I need tangible actions to walk me to my goal. 

So this year, I decided to create a resolution checklist. I brainstormed a list of specific, simple (read: easy) actions that will support resolution success.  I identified some as daily actions.  Others are what you might consider “add-ins” – ones I can select and add into my day.   It took me about 20 minutes to do it.   I asked, what things can I do to help me achieve this resolution?  And, bam!  There was my list. 

For example, let’s say you’ve been feeling stressed and that all you do is work.  You feel like you are neglecting other parts of life that are important to you.  And you see that working 24/7 is not, in fact,  enhancing your productivity.  Quite the opposite.  So, let’s say it’s your New Year’s resolution to have more balance in your life.  For your resolution checklist, you might come up with daily actions like:

  • Go to bed by 11 pm
  • Do not check emails after 7 pm
  • Wake up before everyone else and sit quietly for 5 precious minutes
  • Walk at least 15 minutes
  • Take 3 5 -minute breaks during the day to look out the window, stretch, or breathe deeply
  • Include protein in every meal
  • Have a maximum of 1 cup of coffee

You might create add-in actions like:

  • Turn off the TV from 5-8 pm
  • Do not bring work home
  • Play a game with the kids
  • Have a family meal without distractions (tv, text messaging, etc.)
  • Play the piano for 30 minutes

You get the idea.

At the start of my day, I glance at my checklist, select the actions I’ll include that day and when I’ll do them. 

Why is this working?  Mostly because I don’t have to think so much.  It really is a no-brainer.  All the possible actions are already figured out.  All I have to do is pick and choose.  It’s a buffet of resolution actions.  There are actions to suit any day, any schedule, any mood.  So, I can be sure I’ll be doing something to keep with the program.  Also, reviewing the list at the beginning of the day just takes a second and keeps my resolution at the forefront of my mind. 

So I encourage you:  Before you throw this year’s resolution on the pile of abandoned dreams, give it a shot.  Brainstorm a list of really simple things you can do to put your resolution into action (the more the merrier).   Use a resolution checklist and you’ll increase the odds that at the end of the year you’ll be saying, “Resolution for 2011?  Check!”

Have Spark, Will Travel

I went running for the first time in weeks.  In anything, it’s hard to start again. And while I can’t run as far, I notice I’m a little stronger than the last time I started again.   And something made me smile as I ran:  I felt that little spark inside that sooner or later rises up and gets me back on track. I love that little spark.  I bow to that little spark.  That little spark is going to take me to my goal. 

Starting again.  A true life skill if ever there was one.  Again and again, we start again.  Who knows what takes us off our forward progression to our goals. It may be as simple as travel, a hectic schedule, lack of sleep, or laziness; or as difficult as a big fat mistake, an unforeseen set-back, or a tragedy.  It’s humbling to start again.  But I realize I better get used to it.  So far it seems like the name of the game.   The Japanese proverb, “Fall seven times, stand up eight” says it all.

And today when I ran, I was reminded of the secret agent of starting again:  that little spark.  That thing inside that gets up again, that doesn’t take no for an answer, and rises (eventually, at least) to the occasion. 

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.'”  – Mary Anne Radmacher

Believe me, there are times when I can barely find that spark and I’d swear it has taken a permanent vacation.  But lo and behold, it eventually walks in the door on its own mysterious timetable.  People have lots of names for that spark:  desire, will, aspiration, instinct, endorphins, intention, inspiration.  Some call it the soul, grace, or even God.  Whatever the name,  it’s the thing that inspires me when I see someone overcome a challenge – small or large, or as simple as starting to run again.  Or begin a diet again.  Or try again. 

Since that little spark seems to be rather important, I’ve been thinking about how to  find it when it seems all but snuffed out.  Here are some ideas:
Curl up:  While this isn’t always recommended, there are times when it seems the fetal position is all I got.  Sometimes I just need to be with myself, curl up, be quiet, and wait it out a bit.  Maybe the little spark needs a little rest and recovery.
Move:  The opposite of “curl up,”  move is a good prescription.  As the days passed, I became evermore resistant to starting my running routine again.  So, I thought about taking a walk instead.  And then, one day, I did it.  And after a few days, I thought about running.  And then, one day, I did it.  And there was that little spark.  Movement helps me break out of paralysis.
Be Quiet and Listen:   The little spark can’t always compete with the chorus of inside and outside talk.  Like many, I rely on my spiritual practices to help me become quiet.  But if that isn’t your style, just take a breath or two.  Have a cup of tea (or two).    Take a little time out and listen.  That little spark may have something important to say. 
Accept:  You know that expression, “What you resist persists”?   I’ve found that I’m stalled until I can  accept it – whatever it is:  a mistake, out-of control email, a lost relationship or job, a bad habit.  This could also be called, “Go with the flow.”  Sometimes reality sucks, but once I accept it, it’s possible to move on. 
Lower Expectations:  It’s easy to get frozen in the disappointment about  where I think I should be versus where I actually am.   It’s frustrating to  get back in shape (again), lose the weight (again), kick the habit (again),  or begin a good one (again).  Here’s when I have to lower expectations.  And so, right now, I only go 1 mile, instead of two.  Or walk, instead of run.  I’ll make it up in time.  
Do Something.    When I’m stuck, I just need to take one small step.  Do something.  Do anything.  Send an email.  Say a prayer.  Brainstorm a list.  Research.  Ask a question.  Make a call.  It’s like moving.  It gets me out of paralysis and might just get some sparks flying.
Phone a Friend:   I have friends who know my goals.  Sometimes when I forget, they remind me.  They can be a lifeline back to the little spark. 
Love:  I think the little spark loves love.   Who knows, maybe the little spark is love.  Sometimes, it’s just a  matter of pausing, taking a breath, and focusing on that love for my goal.  “Love conquers all.”  Not to go all sentimental on you, but so far, it’s panned out that way.   And if you can’t recover that love for the goal (maybe it’s a bit fogged over), do anything you love.  Look at your baby’s face.  Dance (which also covers the “Move” suggestion).   Have hot chocolate.  Watch your favorite movie.  Watch your favorite sport.  Anything.  Just make sure you reallly, really love it.


And on that note, here’s a little video I saw the other day.   Enjoy!   Happy 2011.  Here’s to starting again.  And the little spark. 

What do you do to find the spark?